So you are thinking of dropping out of college/University. You feel miserable, overwhelmed by the load of work, homesick, tired of trying very hard to pass your courses, depressed. Now you are asking yourself if it is worth it but at the same time you are scared; what would my parents say?
How would they feel? I am sure they would be very disappointed in me since uncle Matthew’s son just graduated with a degree in law and everyone is proud of him and happy to have a lawyer in the house. I certainly don’t want to disappoint them, I don’t want to seen or feel like a failure; my friends seem to be doing pretty well with this school thing. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I do this just like every other person?
You have all these feelings, thoughts, questions just dancing round and round your head making you feel as though your head is going to burst open and to top it all, you feel uncomfortable to tell anyone so you keep everything inside you.
Well, my dear friend, you are not alone I was once in those shoes.
I used to be a biochemistry student. Biochemistry was not the course for me. When I got into university for my first semester in the biochem program, I really thought I could make it work. Just like every other student, my plan was to finish school by 20, get a good paying job and get married before 25. I guess while I was making these plans, life was sipping its tea and saying “we would see about that”. I struggled till my final year with the course and I couldn’t take it anymore. I was depressed, cried a lot, tried so hard to get pass grades. Those were the most painful stage of my life, I was in this hole which I was struggling to come out of. I remember the look of horror when I told my parents I wanted to study another course. I gathered all my courage to speak up and ready to face the consequences. It was hard, but looking back, I made the best decision of my life.
Now you need to understand that everyone’s story is different, everyone is different and think differently. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you ain’t doing what everyone is doing, just know that. Do not by any means base your decision on someone’s opinion of “University is a waste of time” or “you would be successful because of your degree” or “be in school everyone else is so why shouldn’t you? ”
Some of the reasons you are struggling could be:
- You chose the wrong program or
- You were not fully developed mentally, emotionally before being pushed alone into the university or college world where you are required to make the right decisions by yourself and sometimes with help.
You do need to take out time and be alone, study yourself, know your strength and weakness, get to know what makes you happy, your interests, what do you love doing? What type of person do you see yourself becoming in the future not who your parents see you becoming nor who your friends see you becoming?
Date yourself, be happy by yourself without the input of friends. You need to realize that your life isn’t same as anyone around you; so you think critically before making this decision. Weigh your options, are you dropping out of this program to go for another program which aligns well with you? Are you dropping out because what holds your passion and heart ain’t in the university curriculum? What would you do back home? If you want to become an entrepreneur, can you do it? Are you developed enough? These are some of the few questions you need to ask yourself because you ain’t dropping out without a plan. Even though you don’t have everything figured out at that point, you should at least have a vague idea of what you to do next.
I have heard so many people say “school won’t make you successful” “your degree doesn’t prepare you for what to meet outside the school system” “the outside world is the real thing”. I do agree with some of these and also disagree with others. In my opinion, school is a foundation which is being laid in you so that the outside world can build on you. In as much as I was depressed in my other school and program, I learned a lot of things in those years, a few of them are:
- Being independent, making good choices for myself.
- Being logical and not emotional, voicing out my feelings to others.
- I learned how to observe people.
- I learned how to think independently without being influenced,
- I learned to do what makes me happy even though it’s weird and different from what everyone else does.
These are the factors which are helping me move today and I am truly and deeply happy. My parents are proud of me now and they don’t skip a chance to boast about me doing well. Yes, they still pay my fees but I am working on that so they can stop and I would be the one instead to buy them gifts, surprise them with vacations and loads of goodies.
The summary of everything I have written above is:
- Do not be in a haste to drop out; take your time and think about the decision well.
- Talk to people who truly care about you and counselors who can really understand you and how you feel.
- Have a plan of what to do next after you drop and make sure you follow through.
- Take some break maybe months, a full year to know and understand yourself very well.
- Do not compare yourself and life to anyone. Everyone is different and got a different path in life.
- Do what makes you truly happy, I am happy with my program as it has always being my dream to be a healthcare personnel.
- That things ain’t going well doesn’t mean there ain’t any positives from your situation.
- Take your time and analyze what positive ray this situation shone on you.
- Be grateful for everything.
- Pursue all your dreams, make them happen and make everyone proud of you, I inclusive.
You got a different opinion? something you want to let me know? your own dropout story or challenge or your rise after the challenges? please share with me in the comment section below I would love to know. Till then talk to you in my next post ciao!